Intriguing you might think. Has there even been a moment in your life when you had a thirst for lust? It might be a men thing, however it often a women thing as well, but lust conquers love at times. What a moment of clarity this is just to say it. I remember when I was a young stud, my passion for lust was driven by my desire to conquer. Could I say that love wasn’t real back then? No, I can’t but after years have passed, let’s say I look back into my life a lot differently. I remember these feelings were so strong inside of me, and part of it was because I had so much testosterone flowing in my body. Part of my excruciating training regime made me eat almost 12 thousand calories a day, while losing weight. And this lifestyle created a drive in me I could control very little. My kind of sport was extremely violent and physical and to me, this became part of me. I had entire control over my actions of course but my desire for lust and physical bonding was extremely upsetting considering how much it took of my energy and thoughts. Day and night, awake and sleeping, I was lusting away in my mind, and this began at a very young age of 8. Now, you must be wondering, am I writing a sexual novel here or is there a point to this story? There is and bare with me, because this story explains a lot of my struggles throughout the years and how this affected my entire life. Now, I kind of understand better what I went through and it truly makes me happy I am out of that phase. Why? Because like an intact cat, some things are very hard to control when you are wired so. For the longest time, I was seeking love, and I feel in love and out of love too many times to remember, but not necessarily because I couldn’t find love back, but because I couldn’t be stable enough neither at times. This is part of life for some, while there are others that barely have any sex drive, just because their bodies are like that. I was one of those. I was extremely athletic having been on the national team for an extremely hard sport and playing pretty much any other sport I could get my hands on, and I played all the time. The reflection here is that sometimes we must consider the impacts of overdoing certain aspects of your life. While sports bring tons of benefits, you must realize there are side effects that are not often spoken about. As kids, we tend to develop mindsets that are created part of our surrounding, and if this surrounding is very physical and violent, this kind of shows at times when opportunity arises to be so. So, what was my quest for lust? It was simply my drive to conquer my sport, and in effect, it translated into my body as part of my identity I could barely control at the time. I was in relationships during those times, but my mind just wasn’t playing nice, and it was everywhere else but in the moment. It would take a second for my attention to drift away, and not even realizing this was happening ALL the times. I did real good considering what I felt, what was driving me and how much energy I had at the tip of my finger, and I can’t say I regret any moments, because it was just part of my identity. I can’t change who I am now, and I couldn’t change who I was back then, because these things are just way out of control to decide how much drive, adrenaline and fear we have. My quest for lust always felt like survival, and while I struggled, it made me happy in life to know I had that much energy to fight, to be, and to become. I learned over time how to translate this drive into more practical uses, and truly today, I feel blessed and lucky to have this energy. I look around and I understand that not everybody has this energy, and while it was highly sexual once, I made it into something more practical and useful. I wasn’t looking to be this back then, and surely, I would have never chosen this, as it caused me so much pain in my life at times, but in life, we have to learn how to accept certain things and make the best of it. Sounds familiar? That is because it is. This pretty much applies to all things in life. While you have a choice to look at things in a negative lens, you can always choose to look at it differently and make something useful out of it. You just have to be open to better ideas, and work towards more constructive habits in life. Yes, I was a warrior then, I am a warrior now, just in a different way, not less not more.