I can’t say I’m not. It’s been a while and I started looking back into pictures and words I’ve written over the time, and while I admire the passion and energy I had, I can’t say I agreed with everything. For the longest while, I have been blinded by emotions and perhaps lots of it weren’t my fault, but I could have chosen differently the outcome of those situations. Maybe I was looking for myself, or maybe I simply lost myself along the way however the outcome remains the same. I am not who I was before. It’s a good thing and while I appreciate the fun I had, I could have made a lot more sense of my life back then. I was chasing the same dreams I am today, just I didn’t think clearly as clearly as I am thinking today. Maybe it is age and wisdom and the fact I am way more composed with the destructive things and habits I do, but I’m just glad to be where I am today. Today at 31, I feel like I’m on top of the world and slowly I’m closing the gaps between what I want and what I have. Yes, my world is still about creating the most amazing things and making the world a better place, however now, I have so much more power and assets to do so. I have been to hell and back and I’m proud to say I couldn’t have done without the struggles and pains I went through. No matter where you end in life, you always come to the realization that your efforts are the only things that are going to transform into concrete results. The mind evolves over time, and hormones stabilize over time as well; and this brings us to a peace of mind I could only imagine back then. If you are young, just know that you must ride that period out and minimize the consequences as much as you can. Everything gets easier with time and better. Life is a subjective struggle and it is like that so we can define ourselves through these struggles. At the end of the tunnel lies a life of amazing possibilities and opportunities and while we must be patient for most of them, it is equally fun to not being able to reach most of your goals and then reaching them. We are bombarded with positivity these days and it makes me sick to the stomach that suddenly, everybody is living these epiphanies. I was so focused in my life on hormonal objectives back then, and now I look back and see all the same feelings and statements relating to the exact rhetoric I had back then. People objectifying themselves as a perception for the public to admire, to follow, to become, while all being insanely lost in their paths of becoming happy. You don’t find happiness in approval and admiration: you find happiness rather in absolution and admiration of self. Influences, speakers and mentors all telling you how to achieve these dreams all while boasting their own perception they are masters in these subjects as if they were. Do they sell these dreams or are they convincing everybody that they are these people they desire to become? I am changing in the way of how I perceive life and people in general. I see past the bullshit blankets and perceptions people put in front of themselves. I know how this game goes and I know all of those are just empty words and dreams that are meaningless without tangible efforts and dedication.  I chase my dreams in shadows and in silence, however I seem to be in the best mood of all these people that are constantly looking for approval and appreciation. I don’t need that anymore and even though I could do the same, and perform better, my goals are personal, and my path is also very personal which brings me to my last point: I don’t need approval nor appreciation of what I do. I excel at my goals, skills and ambitions, but I don’t tell nobody about it because at the end, I’ll have done everything only for myself. There is a reason why we call it inner peace and once we shut out all that external influence and cloud of meaningless perception-chasing-bullshit, only then can we truly focus on our inner peace and self.

Just know life is subjective and personal. If you make it about others, you become chained and dependent on those external factors and what best way to control your destiny than isolating it. Be smart, and make meaningful choices, even if it doesn’t appear fun. Perceptions are just that in the end.