Life has a funny way of sometimes putting us back into place and to remind of some gut wrenching feelings you once had and wished to forget.  Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to witness just that. Problems is, in these situation, often I feel wrong on what I should be feeling. Instead of feeling bad on what I’m doing, I’m more focused on what I’ve done previously and the consequences of those actions, all while forgetting that I’m re-positioning myself in the same hole potentially. Truth is, I’m stubborn and I find most people are as well, therefore it takes me a few more times to fall until I truly understand the risks and consequences involved in my actions. For this, at least in my case, it is important to let go of pride, and to really acknowledge the issue at hand happening in the present, and not to contemplate rather on past history.  It’s easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere, and all stories begin with a thought and intention. So where in this story do we come to the initial statement that new beginnings require new endings? What it means is that sometimes in life, we got to let go of some aspects of our lives in order to move on with some other. We cringe so much to our past experiences that we often forget we are doing the same ones in the present time. We have to break the cycle, to end things, and then only we are able to truly move on from the situation. It’s not easy as often, addiction and habits come into play, and we find ourselves justifying the every bit of our existential actions and habits in order to ease our minds, but cringing is bad, and always will be. What I mean by cringing is that we are bending our perceptions in fear of knowing that we are doing wrong or living wrong. In my other chapters (some I have written years and years ago and which you will read in time to come), I often speak on how there are no wrongs in life as all things are necessary in some way or another. The only thing that depends is the angle you are facing this event with. And I know, with everything that is happening around the world, it must be crazy to state such thing, but truth is, I still believe even bad has reason to be. Perhaps it is to balance out, to make us appreciate what we don’t have more or to remind us that we are at the mercy of fate, but whatever the reason may be, everything is for a reason, and that cannot change. Despite this logic, we are still faced with the same dilemma at the end: that for a new beginning, if we desire one, we must end the current one as obviously, it hasn’t worked out. With all said, we still find pride to justify our bad actions and continue them. So where do we draw the line? Is it a never-ending pattern that keeps going in circles until we are doomed? I don’t think so and we shouldn’t accept anything we don’t desire as you are the master of your own fate, unlike everything else that surrounds you. Therefore, keep going, change habits, be better, start new, end a few, and most important, never lose track of what you feel like you need to do. As I said before, nothing good comes easy, but we must fight for ourselves until we can’t no more, until you are pinned to the ground with no other choice, but by then, we won’t have to live in the dreadful feeling of never having tried and that’s what matters in the end.

– Alekor

June 13^th, 2016