We all come in life to a point of no return. A point where you feel like you need a step backward and maybe even go back in time in order to redo what you want to undo. Irony fills every gap known to my mind. In my life, I took a step backward. I decided to go back as far as I can remember. The irony in my part is that I was looking my whole life for answers I left once behind. So my step back was going back and starting everything all over, the way I imagined it the first time. This step was crucial as everything I felt right was then and then only. I managed to drift away from most of my beliefs; the only thing I left the same was the deep end of my mind, the memories of what was. Though things went wrong, and I have drifted too far in my mind, I still remember who I used to be and who I truly loved to be. Passion is something nobody can take away but yourself and sometimes it takes a lot to remember, but life never gives up on you no matter how much you give up on it. It’s hard to know at all times where you want to be in life and if that version of your ambitions corresponds to your current path. It feels like all the effort I could be making next could be for no reason and that’s where my mind boggles most. I find, despite my previous statement, that you shouldn’t stop just because it could be a pointless move. Even in the moves that don’t matter, we could learn valuable information that could benefit us in our path to where we want to be. So in that case, keep walking, and sometimes you got to go back to the core of your issues to truly understand what the problem is, to better clarify the issue at stake. So how do you step back from a life that has no defined time? It’s not like we can define what time is and go back. I always say it, and I always used it for myself: to me the best way to remember something from the past, is to have taken note of it somewhere and reading it back when the time is right. It might feel like you are writing down random notes of your thoughts, ideas and problems but in reality, you are keeping a tab on yourself and that can come more handy than you think. Now you see, often I find myself looking back through old notes and text and I find it fascinating at some of the things I write, some of the thoughts I had. Hell, sometimes I feel almost embarrassed by what I wrote but it makes me happy, no matter how skewed my reality was back then. It makes me happy to understand myself better at this time, to know that I have been through that and to remember why I have felt that way then. Without these notes, some of these memories would no longer be as new ones get formed and there is so much we can keep. In other words, write. I know sometimes it seems like it’s not important but there will be a time when you are going to wish to remember what it used to be, what life was some time ago. Truth is, you never know where life is going to bring you. It feels like we have figured everything out, but the moment you think you know everything is the moment life comes crashing you with unexpected events and moments. At the end, when we take a deep look in who we are, we are the product of our experience and memories. You take away all of it, and you are left with an empty body that wouldn’t know how to differentiate a finger from a potato. We are our memories and it might feel like we will always these memories, but it just takes a second for all of it to crumble down and to lose what makes you. Keep your mind, keep your life in words as they are who you are. You’ll understand all of it better one day.

S-MAN